Bill Gates Dies

Bill Gates died in a car accident.  He found himself in Purgatory being  judged by God, who was undecided whether to admit Gates to  Heaven or send him to Hell.

"Bill," God says, "I don't know if I should reward you for all the good you did for society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world, or damn you for creating that dreadful Windows 95. I'm going to try something I've never done, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."

Gates asks God what are the differences between Heaven and Hell, and God suggests he visit both places, so he can decide for himself.

Gates chooses to visit Hell first, and finds it a tropical paradise: sandy beaches, perfect weather, gorgeous women splashing in the clear water.

"This is fabulous," Gates says.  "If this is Hell, let's check out Heaven!"

God takes Gates up to Heaven, and he sees that it's lovely, all puffy clouds and harp music, but not as beautiful as Hell was. Gates asks to go back to Hell, and God grants his wish.

A few weeks later, God feels he should check up on Bill Gates and see if he is comfortable.  He finds Gates shackled to a wall, screaming as the hot flames burn him, tortured by demons.  "How's everything going, Bill?"  God asks.

Bill responds, his voice raw with anguish and betrayal:  "This is NOT what I expected!  What happened to the sandy beach, and the beautiful women splashing in the surf?"

God replies :  "That was the screen saver."