Catching a Rabbit

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that
they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President
decides to give them a test.  He releases a rabbit into a
forest and has each of them try to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

Then the FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they
burn the forest, filling everything in it, including the
rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

Then the LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a
badly beaten raccoon. The raccoon is yelling: "Okay! Okay!
I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"